The old AT&T song is making me so sentimental. Do any of you remember the “Reach Out and Touch Someone” campaign? I was replaying it in my head the other day and immediately became tearful. I fear that their song will no longer resonate with any of us.
I realize that some of the tears are because I’m right now a day over 3 weeks post op. Physically, I think I’m doing pretty damn good, but mentally – not so great.
Part of it is that I’m just plain exhausted. I’m not sleeping well. I’m waking up worried that my hip progress will be stalled. I’m worried that I’m exacerbating my other hip. I’m worried that another shoe will drop. And I’m also very tired as last week was my first full week back at work and I have to be camera ready at 8:30 daily for our Director’s Covid-19 video update. Everything takes more effort and energy. And, of course, then again, there is the virus worry. I miss my kids. And my mom. My brother and sister. My nieces. My friends. I miss my fellow yogis.
I miss the ability to just give a hug and to be hugged. I miss just being able to “reach out and touch someone”. I miss the collective inhale and exhale experienced in a yoga class. Will we ever be back to practicing peacefulness in person while inhaling and exhaling? I am scared that I’m a secret carrier of this virus and I am too fearful to even touch my husband. Even though I’ve been very low key and have been social distancing, I still worry. And, of course, the worry comes out more when I’m tired. And I miss that human touch.
The social distancing has made this whole new world really feel so clinical. I had my last in person PT appointment for a while last Tuesday. I am seeing virus everywhere. On everything. My hip brace does not feel clean. My hands don’t feel safe. And you can be honest with me…..I know I’m sounding very whiny today.
But there is good news! I just have to wipe away the tears and focus on the good news that I know from experience. You can see this throughout the pages of my blog. The rain always washes away the worry – the sun always comes out. There is always lemonade to be made. And if lemonade does not float your boat, then chocolate will.
I always ask myself and sometimes have been challenged to ask myself– What is this supposed to teach you? Sometimes there are easy answers. Patience? Fortitude? Stick to it ness? Grace? I still don’t know what my answer is this time around. But I really hope that we, collectively, find an answer.
To value the human experience. To put politics aside. To put differences aside. To learn that we are all equally vulnerable. We all have the same beginning and end to our life. We all have the possibility of making a difference for someone. It is up to each of us to paint a picture of kindness in our life between the beginning and the end. Put your human touch on the answer. Go in peace!
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